Sophie Rockwell

I still remember the day I moved to Chicago in 2009. Walking up four flights of stairs with what felt like endless boxes of stuff into my tiny studio apartment. It was a very hot August day. My mom, dad, aunt and cousin helped me with the move. My dad and cousin drove the U-Haul from our quintessential, small town in Indiana (the kind John Mellencamp sings about). My mom, aunt and myself drove separately in my mom’s car. I was coming from a place that, for some reason, I had the urge to run from. I had big dreams and I think I always knew deep down that I couldn’t stay. Not if I were going to do anything about those dreams. Chicago, I knew, was where a great life awaited me full of excitement, adventure and opportunity.

Our legs burned from exhaustion when we finally emptied the U-Haul. My dad returned it to a location down the street; and as he walked back he noticed a restaurant sign around the corner from my new apartment building. The sign simply said ‘The Bar’. It was The Bar on Buena. This would be my introduction to great beer from around the world and the classic Chicago neighborhood bar. (Every neighborhood in Chicago has one.) The Bar on Buena quickly became my favorite place. I took everyone who came to visit me from out of town there for dinner and drinks. I remember sitting there that first day with my family so vividly. I remember feeling so grateful to have them believe in me.

The next day, after my family had gone home the loneliness started to sink in. I didn’t have any friends in the city. I knew no one. I decided to stave off the loneliness with a walk around my new home. Keep in mind, this is 2009 and before I was cool enough (or had enough money) to have a smartphone. And having only moved in the day before, I didn’t have the internet hooked up in my apartment yet. So getting a lay of the land virtually was not an option. I had no idea where anything was, so I just started walking. I walked towards the general direction of Lake Michigan. It was only a few blocks before I came upon a dimly lit tunnel that went under Lake Shore Drive. I paused a second or two before entering and contemplated the safety of it all. While I waited a group of people passed me to walk through the tunnel, so I quickly followed them. Exiting the tunnel on other end was like entering a new world. It was a beautiful park filled with wild flowers and so much greenery. I followed the walking path and reached a harbor full of sail boats with the beautiful city skyline as the backdrop.

I found a spot to sit on the concrete steps along the edge of the water and rested my legs that hadn’t yet recovered from the move the day before. I looked over the seemingly endless Lake Michigan in awe at how the water sparkled under the sun. In that moment I had the most overwhelming feeling, a feeling that I was home. A feeling that I was finally where I was meant to be. I felt comforted by something supernatural, almost like the reassuring hug of a love one. I took a huge sigh of relief. This moment will stay with me forever. I’m afraid if I were to forget it that I would be losing a part of me. I don’t ever want to forget that feeling. The feeling belonging to a place and the excitement and gratification of chasing a dream.

There were still so many unknowns with my new life in Chicago. My internship to finish my degree in Apparel Design would start in a couple weeks. But, I was living off of financial and didn’t have a paying job yet. Nor did I know what I was going to do after my internship ended. I wasn’t scared though. That little hug from the universe told me everything was going to work out.